The Virtue of Forgiveness and Generosity
2016-11-20
The Virtue of Forgiveness and Generosity

As a proverb goes: "No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes." Even people known for outstanding merits are not immune to making mistakes. Thus, it is perplexing if someone cannot tolerate others' mistakes.
If a person always blames everyone else but himself whenever there is a dispute, he will make enemies. It is almost impossible to win friends if one lacks the virtues of forgiveness and generosity. And others are less likely to forgive or be generous towards you in turn.
Several notables in the Tang Dynasty (618 – 907 AD) resolved grudges with generosity, as in the story of Du Chuke.

Repaying Hatred with Forgiveness
Du Chuke served in Wang Shichong's army with his uncle Du Yan. His prospects for promotion were low, as Wang, who had risen to prominence after deposing the last emperor of the Sui Dynasty (581 – 618 AD), was besieged by the Tang armies on the west.
His uncle Du Yan hated Du Chuke and his brothers. His eldest brother was killed at Wang Shichong's order, because Du Yan hated him. Du Chuke himself was thrown into prison, where he almost starved to death. However, he did not harbor any grudge against his uncle.
After the Tang general Li Shimin (598 – 649 AD) defeated Wang Shichong, Du Yan faced execution for serving Wang Shichong.
Du Chuke's other elder brother, Du Ruhui, was a senior adviser to Li Shimin. Du Chuke went to see his brother and begged him, with tears in his eyes, to save their uncle's life. At first Du Ruhui refused.
“Our uncle already had our eldest brother killed,” said Du Chuke. “If you kill him, that will hasten the end of our family line. That is so sad.”
Du Ruhui was moved. He let go of his resentment and repaid their uncle's hatred with generosity. At Du Ruhui's request, Li Shimin spared Du Yan's life.
Unfairly Blamed for Disharmony
After his release, Du Yan was about to join the camp of Prince Li Jiancheng, who was Li Shimin's eldest brother and his opponent. Fang Xuanling, a top adviser to Li Shimin, worried about the threat Li Jiancheng would pose if he recruited Du Yan. Fang suggested that Li Shimin assign Du Yan to a position where his talents could be put to good use.
In the year 625, a rebellion broke out. After it was suppressed, the rebels confessed they were following orders from Prince Li Jiancheng, but they blamed Du Yan for instigating disharmony between Li Shimin and Prince Li Jiancheng. Li Shimin was aware that Du Yan was innocent and rewarded him with 300 ounces of gold.
After Li Shimin took office as Emperor Taizong of Tang in 626, he appointed Du Yan as minister in charge of the entire hierarchy of government officials. Over 40 officials were promoted to serve in the imperial court at the recommendation of Du Yan, and many of them excelled in serving the country.
A Life Spared
After saving his uncle's life, Du Chuke lived as a hermit in the Song mountains in today's Henan Province, hundreds of miles east of the Tang capital. He returned to serve in the imperial court in 630, where he rose to the rank of minister.
Du Chuke was caught bribing officials of the imperial court on behalf of Emperor Taizong's fourth son, which was seen as disrupting the succession of the imperial reign that Emperor Taizong had already planned.
When Taizong learned about Du Chuke's role, he kept it to himself. He announced Du Chuke's involvement when the crime came to light, but he spared his life. Then he assigned Du Chuke to the position of county commissioner, so he could make up for his transgressions by serving the country.
Thus Du Chuke, who had treated his uncle fairly in the past, was in the end rewarded in kind.
This was how people of diverse backgrounds in the Tang Dynasty remedied grudges – by granting forgiveness and tolerating others’ mistakes. This is how the Tang Dynasty flourished during the reign of Emperor Taizong.
宽待他人 得到了他人的宽待

常言道,人无完人,谁能无过。很多人可能在某方面贤德,却在其它方面犯了错。因此,不能容人之过,是非常不好的。

看自己是一朵花,看别人满身都是错。发生矛盾时,错误都是别人的,自己还以嫉恶如仇、眼里揉不得沙子自居,这种性格必然人缘不好,树敌多多,不能谅解、善待别人,也就自然得不到别人的谅解、善待。而古人在面对前嫌旧恨时是怎样做的呢?

唐朝杜如晦的弟弟杜楚客,少时跟随叔叔杜淹,陷在王世充军中。杜淹向来与杜如晦兄弟不和,诬蔑杜如晦的大哥,使王世充杀掉了杜如晦的大哥,并囚禁了杜楚客。杜楚客差点被饿死,竟毫无怨色。

王世充被秦王李世民平定后,杜淹论罪当死。而杜如晦此时已是李世民所信任的谋士。杜楚客不计前嫌,哭泣流涕,请杜如晦救杜淹一命。杜如晦一开始不肯答应。杜楚客劝说:“叔叔已杀了大哥,现在哥哥您又因旧恨弃叔叔于不救,我们家族一门之内,相互厮杀殆尽,岂不痛心?”杜如晦听了杜楚客的话很感动,抛下旧仇,以德报怨,向李世民求情。杜淹于是被宽待免死。

杜淹此时没了职务,将要委身投靠太子李建成。房玄龄担心李建成得到杜淹,助长李建成的奸计,于是向李世民启奏,在李世民帐下给杜淹找了份差事,使其才能用在正道上。武德八年,庆州总管杨文干作乱,口供牵连到太子的东宫,归罪于杜淹等人。李世民知道杜淹无罪,赠给杜淹黄金三百两。等到李世民即位,任用杜淹为吏部尚书的重要职务,参与朝政。杜淹前后向朝廷推荐四十余人,后来大多成为知名的人才。

而杜楚客求情救下叔叔杜淹后,自己却到嵩山隐居。贞观四年,才被召入朝廷为官,但杜楚客毫无不平之意,没有怨恨妒嫉之心。后来杜楚客犯了一个错误——帮助魏王李泰拿着金子贿赂朝臣。唐太宗听说了,忍隐不言,没有宣扬杜楚客做的事。等到东窗事发后,唐太宗才公布了杜楚客的错误,却又宽恕了杜楚客,免他死罪。不久又让杜楚客担任处化县令,给他改正错误、为民办事的机会。

杜楚客在叔叔犯错时,宽恕了叔叔杜淹,后来在自己犯错时,也得到了皇帝的宽恕。而杜淹得到了杜楚客的宽恕,才为李世民推荐了四十多位人才。如果眼睛揉不得沙子、容不下别人的错误、没有海纳百川的肚量,也就不会有那么多人才为贞观盛世作出贡献了。

在这个故事中,杜楚客始终对伤害自己的人——杜淹毫无怨气。房玄龄有眼光,认识到如果不能包容、任用杜淹,就会把杜淹推到李建成那边去,成为李世民的阻力。最有容人之量、也最能得人心的是李世民,即能容下杜淹之过,也能容下杜楚客之过,给他二人改正错误的机会,轻易的就赢得了他二人的心。
    来源: 看中国 责编: Kitt

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