Jealousy Harms Others and Hurts Oneself (I)  妒嫉之心 害人害己(上)
2017-01-16

Emperor Kangxi from the Qing Dynasty, one of the most respected emperors in Chinese history, once said, 「For anyone who is a part of society, it is essential to be generous. That is, to feel happy when others' lives go well and to feel sympathetic when others' lives go downhill. Doing so will be good for oneself... heaven will bless this person.」

Some people do not share these feelings. Instead, they may feel unsettled when someone is better than they are. Out of jealousy, they may falsely accuse or harm the other person. The truth is, behaving like that will, in the end, hurt themselves. Below are two examples.

A Tale of Two Classmates
Sun Bin, one of the greatest generals who lived in China about 2,000 years ago, studied under the same master with Pang Juan. After Pang became a general in Wei State, he knew Sun would be the better leader. Out of jealousy, he framed Sun, branding him a criminal and ruining his future.
When a diplomat from Qi State came to visit, Sun managed to meet him and went back to Qi State with him. The king appointed him to lead the army with General Tian Ji.

Sun soon demonstrated his superior military skills. When Wei invaded another state, Zhao, Sun ordered the army to attack Wei's capital instead of helping to defend the invaded state. This strategy worked well, and it became a classic case in Chinese military history, often referred as 「besiege Wei to rescue Zhao.」

Later, Wei started to invade another state. After Sun began to attack Wei's capital, Pang ordered Wei's army to withdraw. To deceive Pang, Sun told the soldiers to reduce the number of cooking pots and fire that were set up day after day. Pang saw this and thought Qi's soldiers were deserting. With a small troop, Sun set a trap in the narrow valley of Maling, where Pang's troops were surrounded and defeated. Pang committed suicide and his last words were, 「Too bad this war will make the brat [Sun] famous.」

Pang's jealousy and ruthlessness endured until the last minute of his life. His behavior harmed others and also brought an end to Pang's own life.


妒嫉之心 害人害己(上)

秦山
 
康熙帝在《庭训格言》中有这样的话,训曰:「凡人持身处世,惟当以恕存心。见人有得意事,便当生欢喜心;见人有失意事,便当生怜悯心。此皆自己实受用处。若夫忌人之成,乐人之败,何与人事?徒自坏心术耳。古语云:『见人之得,如己之得。见人之失,如己之失。』如是存心,天必佑之。」
 
这段话的大意是讲,一个人立身处世,应有宽容之心。看见别人有得意的事情,就应该为他高兴;看见别人有失意的事情,就应该对他表示怜悯、同情。其实这种心态对自己也很有好处。如果一个人只知道妒嫉别人的成功,对别人的失败幸灾乐祸,那怎么能和别人一起共事呢?只是坏了自己的心思罢了。古人说过:「看到别人有所得,就如同自己有所得;看到别人有所失,就如同自己有所失。」存有这种心思的人,上天一定会保佑他。
 
与人相处,因为他人在某些方面超过了自己,便耿耿于怀,心理失去了平衡,有甚者因妒嫉而生恶念行恶事来构陷谋害他人。因妒嫉而生的后果是严重的,害人害己,迫害他人的同时也注定了自己的下场。古人常说,「命里有时终须有,命里无时莫强求」。别人得到的,而自己没有得到,不必因此介怀而愤愤不平,努力的修养品德,多行善事,必有善报,何必为了个人利益的得失而心难平、行恶事呢。历史告诉我们因妒嫉行凶行恶而带来的恶果是惨重的,让我们一起来借鉴有关的历史典故吧。
 
庞涓因妒害孙膑  最终兵败身亡
 
孙膑曾经和庞涓一道学习兵法。庞涓奉事魏国以后,当上了魏惠王的将军,却知道自己的才能比不上孙膑,就秘密地把孙膑找来。孙膑到来,庞涓害怕他比自己贤能,忌恨他,就假借罪名砍掉他两只脚,并且在他脸上刺了字,想让他隐藏起来不敢抛头露面。齐国的使臣来到大梁,孙膑以犯人的身分秘密地会见了齐使,进行游说。齐国的使臣认为他是个难得的人才,就偷偷地用车把他载回齐国。
 
后来魏国攻打赵国,赵国形势危急,向齐国求救。齐威王打算任用孙膑为主将,孙膑辞谢说:「受过酷刑的人,不能任主将。」于是就任命田忌做主将,孙膑做军师,坐在带蓬帐的车里,暗中谋划。田忌想要率领救兵直奔赵国,孙膑说:「想解开乱丝的人,不能紧握双拳生拉硬扯;解救斗殴的人,不能卷进去胡乱搏击。要扼住争斗者的要害,争斗者因形势限制,就不得不自行解开。如今魏赵两国相互攻打,魏国的精锐部队必定在国外精疲力竭,老弱残兵在国内疲惫不堪。你不如率领军队火速向大梁挺进,占据它的交通要道,冲击它正当空虚的地方,魏国肯定会放弃赵国而回兵自救。这样,我们一举解救了赵国之围,而又可坐收魏国自行挫败的效果。」田忌听从了孙膑的意见。魏军果然离开邯郸回师,在桂陵地方交战,魏军被打得大败。这就是中国历史上的著名经典战役「围魏救赵」。
 
十三年后,魏国和赵国联合攻打韩国,韩国向齐国告急。齐王派田忌率领军队前去救援,径直进军大梁。魏将庞涓听到这个消息,率师撤离韩国回魏,而齐军已经越过边界向西挺进了。孙膑对田忌说:「那魏军向来凶悍勇猛,看不起齐兵,齐兵被称作胆小怯懦,善于指挥作战的将领,就要顺应着这样的趋势而加以引导。兵法上说:「用急行军走百里和敌人争利的,有可能折损上将军;用急行军走五十里和敌人争利的,可能有一半士兵掉队。命令军队进入魏境先砌十万人做饭的灶,第二天砌五万人做饭的灶,第三天砌三万人做饭的灶。」庞涓行军三日,特别高兴地说:「我本来就知道齐军胆小怯懦,进入我国境才三天,开小差的就超过了半数啊!」于是放弃了他的步兵,只和他轻装精锐的部队,日夜兼程地追击齐军。孙膑估计他的行程,当晚可以赶到马陵。马陵的道路狭窄,两旁又多是峻隘险阻,适合埋伏军队。孙膑就叫人砍去树皮,露出白木,写上:「庞涓死于此树之下。」于是命令一万名善于射箭的齐兵,隐伏在马陵道两边,约定说:「晚上看见树下火光亮起,就万箭齐发。」庞涓当晚果然赶到砍去树皮的大树下,看见白木上写着字,就点火照树干上的字,上边的字还没读完,齐军伏兵就万箭齐发,魏军大乱,互不接应。庞涓自知无计可施,败成定局,就拔剑自刎,临死说:「倒成就了这小子的名声!」齐军就乘胜追击,把魏军彻底击溃,俘虏了魏国太子申回国,孙膑也因此名扬天下。
 
庞涓在军事才能上不如孙膑,他因妒嫉之心,耍手段、残害同门,竟然砍掉孙膑的双脚,又在他的脸上刺字,我们可以看到庞涓的阴狠毒辣。而庞涓所作的这一切的根源,就是他的妒嫉之心,他因嫉生恨,因恨而生恶念,因恶念而最终行凶。后来发生的桂陵之战和马陵之战中,孙膑发挥了他卓越的军事才能。庞涓败在孙膑的军事计策上,庞涓兵败身亡。然而,庞涓临死都没有悔悟,他到死都还要计较孙膑会名扬天下,临死都怀着深深地妒嫉之心。可以说,除了庞涓的军事能力不如孙膑外,害死他的另一主因是他自己的妒嫉之心。
 
《荀子·不苟》上说:「君子能则宽容易直以开道人,不能则恭敬繜绌以畏事人;小人能则倨傲僻违以骄溢人;不能则妒嫉怨诽以倾覆人。」君子有才能,就宽宏大量平易正直地来启发引导别人;没有才能,就恭恭敬敬谦虚退让来小心侍奉别人。小人有才能,就骄傲自大邪僻背理地来傲视欺凌别人;没有才能,就嫉妒怨恨诽谤来倾轧搞垮别人。庞涓和孙膑的这段史实很好的诠释了小人的妒嫉之心最终会害人害己,下场是悲惨的。以史为训诫,从这段历史可以看到,做人就要做个坦坦荡荡的君子,正大光明的生活;不要做个阴险的小人,因妒嫉而在阴暗的角落里营谋来害别人。
    来源: 看中国 责编: Kitt

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